Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I have a reading level above third grade

Why do British people always write "xxx" after their names?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t buy bullshit

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Does Taylor Swift actually play the guitar, or is it a prop?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t cotton to rapists

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I understand how hurricane paths work

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

What are the most meaningful Jewish jokes that reveal insights about Jewish culture?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Are there any political parties or groups that have a mix of conservative and liberal beliefs? Why are they not as prominent in the media?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I can count

What are 50 random facts about yourself?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Can relationship issues cause depression?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

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I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Did the Sumerians, Babylonians and, other Mesopotamians create more, influence more and, were more advanced than Egypt?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

What is your review of UST Global?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

What is the reason for the high number of stray dogs in Thailand? What measures are being taken to address this issue?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I actually pay taxes

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

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It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

What do you typically do while on meth?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

What is the sluttiest thing your wife has ever done?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

How often do you watch the news on TV?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I see through liars

I have complete contempt for fakery

I can read

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes